Thursday, January 18, 2024

The Arc of Loneliness

The weight of the world presses on my shoulders

The hands of an unfeeling oppressor

Digging in nails

Drawing blood

Shredding flesh from fragile bones

Until there is nothing left of who I was, am or will be

 

Tears of acid gouging rough paths in sunken cheeks

Below hollow eyes staring out in vain

Searching for salvation

Seeking the unattainable

Burned by circumstances beyond my control

Ashes of thoughts, destroyed by their own creation

 

Curled, child-like, under soft toys and weighted blankets

Protected from the harsh realities of the outside world

Cocooned by wretchedness

Cossetted by melancholy

A fate I have come, in my wisdom, to accept

Bereft of hope in any direction I happen to look

 

Maybe one winter’s day I will find my true self

Frozen at the bottom of an unfathomable well

Lingering there

Clinging on

Wondering if there’s any escape from this darkness

Or a flame I could ignite within myself

 

Damp wings unfurled against the dying embers of day

Struggling to see the beauty of their colours

Taking flight

No direction

Hoping the light will guide me to a better place

Where the weight is lifted from these tired bones

Sunday, January 7, 2024

Love in 10 Words

~ Biscuit ~

The oven was warm

And that delicious smell wafted,

Light and airy,

From room to room.

 

The biscuits sat,

Soft and round,

Tempting the senses

On the tray hot to the touch.

 

~ Temperature ~

It wasn’t the only thing I couldn’t touch -

The distance between us

Too far to overcome

But you ignite something in me

 

The very idea of you makes my temperature rise,

My heart beat faster,

Beads of sweat form on my brow,

And I yearn for the times we were together.

 

~ Blue ~

But my heart is blue

Because you’re not here to tell me

That I didn’t put enough chocolate chips in the batter

But you love them anyway.

 

And all I want to do is tell you that

I love you more than biscuits,

More than that corn dish you like,

And more than all the pizza slices we can eat.

 

~ Embrace ~

I want to feel your arms wrap around me,

Warm as a summer’s day,

As I lay my head on your chest

Listening to your heartbeat through your shirt.

 

And I want to feel your warm breath in my hair

Right before you kiss my head

And I lose all control

Of my feelings towards you.

 

~ Petrichor ~

But all I have is the smell of your shirt,

Freshly cut grass and dirt

Mixed with the rain that fell

Just as you walked out the door.

 

I’ve gotten used to you walking out the door

But it never gets any easier,

Knowing it will be months

Til I see you walk back in again.

 

~ Orchestral ~

The sound of your car engine in the drive

Is music to my ears

And the sight of your face

Is a whole symphony orchestra.

 

My heart sings when I hear your voice,

Knowing you are home with me

If only for this weekend

And then you must away.

 

~ Scrubbed ~

When you’re not here, I clean the floors,

I do laundry and dishes,

I go to work and come home

To an all but empty home.

 

There’s my two cats that need looking after

And my son who’s old enough

But it’s empty without you

And this bed is too big for just me.

 

~ Ethereal ~

You’re almost like a ghost in this house -

Your favourite cup is in the cupboard

And your clothes are in the wardrobe

But you’re not here.

 

Your cologne lingers in the air for days,

Haunting my senses as I walk into the room

And filling me with a longing

I can’t even begin to describe.

 

~ Leonard Cohen ~

Your say your friends are gone and your hair is gray

Yet you’re the life and soul of any party,

Though few and far apart our dancing days

Because my arms can’t stretch that far.

 

But, in the lounge betwixt couch and window,

We’ll bathe in soft, dappled light

And sway together, tightly held,

As angels sing on high to hallelujah.

 

~ Scratch ~

What started as an itch to scratch

Quickly ran away from us

And is now so much more than either of us

When we fill our hearts with such joy.

 

The time we share is not enough,

When once we talked but had not met;

An ache that barely has time to subside

Before it is awakened once again.

 

~ Massaged ~

I crave you hand holding mine,

Our legs entwined while watching TV,

The way our bodies fit together

When we’re both done for the day.

 

You healed my wounds from long ago

And taught me there was more to life than pain,

Massaging away the loneliness

Until all that’s left is love.