Roy, in eight parts

I

 

One dark and stormy night

I chanced upon your face;

It lighted the way for me

When I was all but blind.

 

What I did not realise then,

And could not fathom afterwards,

Was why you would deceive me

And the one you should be with.

 

I longed for what you had

But could never give to me.

You offered me an illusion

Which would never materialise.

 

II

 

You dismissed the ultimatum,

As I had known you would,

But you would not dismiss me

From an ever-breaking heart.

 

I'm sure you haven't realised

How my heart was ripped,

Still beating before me eyes,

From in my shredded chest.

 

Your lies should have protected me

(Warned me, in the very least)

But I could not help but fall

And was so very injured.

 

III

 

Had you left in then and there

I may have found it in my soul

To offer you some forgiveness

But you could not let me be.

 

Each time I thought myself free

From you tenticulous grip

you sucked me in again

And once more I was afraid.

 

Why did I let you control me?

Allow you back into my world?

Did I think you would change?

Or was that all I was worth?

 

I was not worth your deception.

You were not worth my time,

But no matter how many times,

You kept knocking on my door.

 

IV

 

I hope you can see the locks

That now adorn the door;

And how do you fancy the bars

That now mar every window?

 

Do they fill you with satisfaction?

Are they pleasing to your eyes?

Because they work very well

To keep all from venturing inside.

 

They protect me from the ones

Who would seek to hold my heart,

No matter their intentions

Because it seems you're all the same.

 

V

 

The men I created for you,

To keep your advances at bay,

Were more perfect than any man

Could ever hope to be.

 

There's nothing you could say to me

To make me change my mind.

Even your name reminds me

Of every scar you left behind.

 

My trust has been annihilated

And belief beyond resurrection;

No hope remains to guide me

And no man could measure up.

 

You have destroyed my ambition

To have more than what is now;

The family I might have envisioned

Is a pipe dream lost to time.

 

It will take a prince in shining armour

To defeat my inner demons,

Remnants of my captivity

In a cell created by you.

 

VI

 

If this is my lot in life

I can be happy with that

Because I will always have one thing

That you will never own.

 

So next time you look in the mirror

And wonder what went wrong,

Remember that it was all you -

Your actions and your choice.

 

You chose the path of deception,

Of dubious morals and character,

Of integrity less than desirable,

And you chose the wrong girl.

 

VII

 

I may have spent many years

Debating, over again, with myself

As to whether I was worth more

Than what you were prepared to give.

 

I may have doubted myself

More times than I care to remember

But now all doubt is gone,

Especially when it comes to you.

 

I don't doubt your intentions,

They will never change.

You will never want anything more

Than ships passing casually in the night.

 

I don't doubt my ability

To resist your wit and charm

Because it is as shallow

As your children's paddling pool.

 

I don't doubt the outcome

Should you approach me one more time;

not only would you be rejected

But your world would tumble down.

 

VIII

 

You may not think I know,

But I have many resources at my command

And have gained enough to ruin you

From the scraps you discarded here.

 

A name and an industry sufficed

To glean all I could want to know -

You business is now my business

And don't think I won't use it.

 

So let this be the very last

Communication I ever have with you

For the sake of your reputation,

Your marriage and your world.