Untitled Obsession

It does not matter how far you are
Or how much time has elapsed,
The mere mention of your name
Or the sight of your picture
Brings a smile to my face.

If I could wake every morning
To the twinkle in your eye
I think my heart might melt,
My mind might switch off
And my body might be at rest.

For now I sit and contemplate
A life that will never be
Yet which continues to engulf me
With a sense of overwhelming love
And a friendship that will never die.

I count the days until we meet
And mourn the ours after we part;
I rejoice in the time we spend together
For there is little in this world of ours
That can fill me with such joy.

One day I may muster up the courage
To tell you that which is obvious
And that which you must already know,
That which makes me sigh contentedly
And weep uncontrollably as well.

I miss our casual flirtations
That I hid true feelings behind,
Knowing that it could go no further
Than those fleeting moments
Of seemingly faked intimacy.

On more than one occasion
My toes felt the precipice -
A point of no return -
Once stepped over by either party
Would spell certain catastrophe.

How I wished to leap headlong
Over the edge and into your arms,
Where those gentle kisses meant more
Than a friendly hello or goodbye
And my heart would feel at home.

If I could put into words at all
How that embrace made me feel,
But satisfied hardly does it justice,
Nor safe and secure either,
It being something more than affection.

One day, when I am older and wiser,
I will know which way to jump.
For the foreseeable future I have only
This thin grasp on plausible deniability
Which can carry me through those years.

I don't want to push you away,
Though I feel I already have
As that once close and tender bond
Feels increasingly fragile and untenable
Wholly due to my desperate desire.

The time when I could have reached out
Has long since passed me by
Yet somewhere deep within me
A hope remains somewhat intact
That I may be able to extend my hand.

I have never known if you would take it,
Though often times I thought you might
As you sat by me long ago
And held me close to your heart
So I felt I would never fall.

If I had not been so a-feared,
So terrified of what might come to pass,
I may have shown more daring
To create a dream come true,
Not let it waste away to memory.

I have always said you were the one,
The only one in actual fact,
That I would circumvent morality
To have you wrap your arms around me
And whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

But today I am as happy
As this forlorn situation will allow.
The smile which adorns my face
Is genuine in every respect
And my heart is leaping for joy

Because I know it won't be very long
Until I can hold you in my arms,
Even if for the briefest of moments,
And bathe in the unwavering glow
Of your tolerance for my gushing.