Reluctant

06/04/2021 – Poem a Day Compilation



I was reluctant to say hello

I didn’t think you’d say it back

You wouldn’t want to be my friend

You were too good for me



I was reluctant to ask you out

I didn’t think you’d say yes

You wouldn’t want to be my boyfriend

You were out of my league



I was reluctant to say yes

I didn’t think you’d really mean it

You wouldn’t want to be my husband

You were way too successful



I was reluctant to let you go

I didn’t think I could

You wouldn’t want to live like this

You were too much for this world

Spending My Days in Bed

11/03/2021 – Poem a Day Compilation



I used to dream

About being able

To spend my days

In bed not worrying

About the world

Or getting up for work

But now that I

Have no choice

But to be in this bed

I miss having the choice

And wish I hadn’t

Been so stupid

As to put my life in danger

For a cheap thrill

Not knowing the result

Would change my life

Forever in ways

I never expected

Like resenting the bed

I’d long to spend

More time snuggled in.

The New Kid

21/02/2021 – Poem a Day Compilation



Walking into school

Not knowing anyone

Far away from friends

And worried about everything

Because you don’t know

Which teachers are nice

And which kids to stay away from

Or where the best spots are

When you want to sit quietly and read.



Will the librarian be strict

Or let you take an extra book

Every now and then?



Is the sports teacher cool

Or a hard arse

Who only has eyes for the very best?



Will that boys beat me up

If I look at him funny

Or sit in his seat in class?



Is the pretty girl going to laugh

When I talk to her

Or accept me for who I am?



You don’t know what you’re getting

Until you walk through those gates

And the world closes in on you

While you find your feet

And your voice,

And maybe being different

Isn’t different here

And I’ll fit in just fine

Even though I’m the new kid.

Reliance

02/02/2021 - Poem a Day Compilation



I don’t like reliance.

The dawning dread

Of people placing their trust

Upon my wee, small head.



The expectation placed

At my feet

That I will live up to

The task at hand.



I don’t like reliance.

The need to include

Other people in my plans

Because I lack something.



I like to do things

My own way

In my own time

Without compromise.



I don’t like reliance.

But I accept it

And live with it

Because I have to.

Always on my Mind

09/09/2020 - Poem a Day Compilation



It’s always on my mind:

The unrelenting fear

Of not being enough

In this world so predicated

On the successful of everyone

And failure not being an option,

When I just want to exist,

To be at peace with myself

And the world around me,

Without the constant pressure

To be more than I am

On any given day.



It’s always on my mind:

The deep-seated resentment

I carry around with me,

Like a weight on my shoulders

That I cannot put down,

Burning its way through my soul

With every expectation

Placed mercilessly at my door

By those who choose not to understand

And are then offended by

The anger and bitterness

That spills from my lips.



It’s always on my mind:

The haunting poeticism

Of an everyday life

That is filled with days

And weeks, months, years

Of extraordinary ordinariness

That leaves no mark

And betrays no deeper purpose

Than that which society feels

Should be my place within its confines

And allows no room for self-expression

Or mould-breaking experiences.



It’s always on my mind:

The plaintive melody sung softly

By a heart that yearns to be free

Of the shackles of normalcy

And escape the overarching shadows

That dim the light inside me

To a point where I cannot see

Where I end

And the rest of humanity begins

As we form an amorphous mass

Of pseudo-intellectualism

And rabid hatred of other.