Numb

08/07/2020 - Poem a Day Compilation



I looked at her face,

Contorted in grief,

Tears streaming down her cheek,

Pitiful wails escaping her quivering lips.



She was rocking slowly,

Curled up in the chair in the corner,

Her sadness palpable

In the stillness of the room.



She couldn’t look at him,

Laid out on the bed,

IV lines still attached

And the curtains drawn.



She had her face turned away from him,

Not quite facing the wall where I stood,

My back leaning against the cold concrete,

But she didn’t see me there.



She was lost in her own pain,

The discomfort of so many years

Of hospital trips and medications,

Seeping out of her now.



She was mourning her loss

But angry at her relief

That it was finally over

And she didn’t want him to see.



She didn’t want him to know

And, at the same time,

She knew he could never know

And it was tearing her apart.



She wiped her face with the back of her hand,

Sniffed and took a deep breath,

Trying to compose herself

As she sat up in the chair.



She could always muster that strength,

Much more than I ever could.

I don’t know where it came from

But I knew that she’d need every ounce of it.



She reached out her hand, damp with tears,

Taking mine to steady her,

And she stood,

Her head lifting in defiance.



She was a tower, a beacon,

All five foot nothing of her,

And she walked out of that room

With all the grace of the queen herself.



She thanked the nurses at their station

And I stood behind, awkwardly,

As they explained what would happen next

And offered their condolences.



She listened intently,

Nodding but not speaking,

As tears continued to leak from her eyes,

Against her will, it seemed.



She walked to the car

But she could not open the door,

Her hand frozen on the handle

And I felt her crumbling before me.



I held my mother as a child

And I knew all that was waiting for me,

But not just yet.

Right then, I was numb.