Paranoia

10/09/2020 - Poem a Day Compilation



You wound me with your words,

They bite and scratch and claw,

The offend my sensibilities

And you do not offer to withdraw.



Though many may just let them slide,

You insult me with your remarks

That flow freely from your face

Without regard for the ire it sparks



I do not trust a word you say

And your actions betray your thoughts.

I have cracked the code you use,

I see through your ones and noughts.



You tell me you hold my secrets

But your eyes tell me you lie;

I hear my fears repeated back to me

And I wish for you to die.



Don’t you dare tell me I’m wrong

When I am nothing of the sort

Your criticism will not provoke me

When your arguments are fraught.



You say I’m overreacting

When I don’t take to your ugly declarations

But should my tears not flow freely

When you’ve turned against me whole nations.



You try to tear me down at each turn,

Spreading rumours like grist to the mill,

You want to destroy everything I have –

My art, my passion, my will.



You don’t want me to be happy,

Rather see me suffer your lies,

Treating me like a leper

Until there’s nothing around me but flies.



I always need to defend myself

When you hurl accusations at me

Or imply that something is all my fault

When it couldn’t possibly be.



You don’t listen to my explanations –

I repeat them ‘til I’m blue in the face –

But You tell me I’m wrong every time

When you know that’s not the case.



I don’t want to argue with you

But you won’t see things from my perspective.

You make me want to shake you

Until you aren’t as defective.



I yell, and I scream, and I shout,

And I punch holes in the lounge room wall

Because whatever I do isn’t good enough

And we must defer to your call.







But I don’t want to bend to your will,

I want to make decisions without compromise,

To take action based on my own choices

And for there to be no reprise.



I am the master of my own domain,

The king of my own castle.

You will not bring me undone

Or placate me with a shiny parcel



I cannot forgive the wrong you have done

And I will never forget them;

They haunt my every waking thought

And my dreams they do condemn.



They stain my opinion of you,

And scar every memory I hold

You damage me beyond all recognition

And leave me feeling cold.



I know you talk about me

When I am not in the room,

The whispers hidden behind hands

Are louder than a sonic boom.



I see all the deceit that you spread

When you think that I’m not around,

Fooling yourself that I don’t know

That your lies are not bound.







I’ve never liked the way you act,

Sneaking around like you’ve something to hide

And never giving me all the answers –

Even when I’ve caught you out, you’ve lied.



Your friends are not who they say they are –

They’re two faced and devious –

And I know you’ve told them my secrets

Going beyond mere mischievous.



I can’t trust anyone anymore,

All because of you.

I have no one to confide in

And you won’t get your due.



Once they hear your treacherous lies

They don’t believe a word I say.

But I will take my revenge

And you will rue the day.



I can’t be with anyone

In any romantic fashion.

They all leave me in the end

And I am bereft of passion.



They say I’m not the person

With whom they fell in love.

All I want is to find someone

Who fits me like a glove.



But that person isn’t real, you know,

Because you’ve turned them all away,

You take, you pinch, you steal from me,

But they’re just silly games you play.



It becomes harder to face the world outside

When danger lurks at every turn,

When people are against me

And want to see me burn.



I see their true intentions

But they hide their malevolence towards me.

They wear a mask of innocence

So the rest of the world won’t see.



My bosses will not promote me,

They keep me stuck in this dead-end job

It’s all designed to wear me down

So they can feed me to the ravenous mob.



They are afraid of my intellect,

That I will outshine them, every one.

Their small minds can’t see my vision

And they won’t stop ‘til I am done.



They listen in to my conversations,

They probably trace my calls.

Stealing my ideas and thoughts

My protest on deaf ears falls.



Each day they try to bring me down –

They conspire to see me fail.

Everyone is against me,

Their plot is beyond the pale.

They will not get the best of me.

They will not drag me down.

I see through their diversions.

I will wear the crown.

Interference

01/08/2020 -  Poem a Day Compilation



I feel it encroaching on me

I feel its obstructive voice

It feels like a distortion

It feels like I’m being harassed



Can’t I be free of this disruption?

Can’t I escape the violation I feel?

I have no involvement here

I have no influence over my life



I know it tries to manipulate me

I know about societies prejudice

I want to run away from the pressure

I want to be free of this parasite



There’s no need for an intervention

There’s no need for this disturbance

All it does is create more noise

All it does is block my thoughts



I am being infringed upon

I am being jammed inside my head

I cannot abide the interruption

I cannot take this intrusiveness



This assistance is hindering me

This hitch is slowing me down

I loathe this encumbrance

I loathe this uninvited intrusion



I don’t need any well-meaning aide

I don’t need any misguided meddling

I don’t want any help from outside

I don’t want any interference from you

The Madness

18/07/2020 –  Poem a Day Compilation


As the walls closed in

And the darkness fell

The sounds of the night

Crept into her ears

Her hands clamping about her head

Holding in what sanity remained

Against the screeches and screams

From beyond the brick walls

Of this lonely and lonesome place

From which there was no escape,

No distraction and no respite

Despite the frenzy of prayers

In this godforsaken place

To a non-existent deity

For a freedom that will never come

When lunacy takes hold of those

Who stand outside the door

That they no longer understand

What is right and wrong

And buy into the hysteria

Of the latest fad treatments

With no thought of the consequences

Of testing procedures on the manic

Without their permission

Or even their knowledge

Hidden from scrutiny by demented laws

Serving a master as unsound of mind

As those incarcerated in psychiatric wards

For indeterminate periods of time

Under the auspices of mental health

A true derangement of a system

Meant to protect the world from the insane

And the depressed from themselves

While the unstable run the asylum 

Which makes the rest of us mad.

Demons

Monsters are alive and well,
Though mostly in my head.
Sometimes they escape outside
And creep around my bed.

There are big ones, and ugly,
That scare me out o' my wits.
They have big jaws and sharp teeth
To tear me all to bits.

Some are small and pestering
With eyes as red as fire.
They chase me through my nightmares
As if they never tire.

They live in the dark and cold
Where the sun never shines,
Sleep amongst the shadows deep,
Eat where the devil dines.

Never there was such foul beasts
That went searching for my soul.
These things of pure evil
With fur as black as coal.

Then I saw a splendid light,
I could not speak a word.
It shone from within my heart
And I flew just like a bird.

Over mountains, over seas,
Like an angel with her wings.
I was free from harm and threat,
Free from warlocks, elfins, kings.

There was not a care to find,
I could do most anything.
Swim in the deepest ocean,
Talk to the birds who sing.

Soon I came back down to earth
And found myself in bed.
For I had been asleep again,
That's is all that's to be said.