23/05/2020 – Iso Well-Being Compilation
I don’t know when it started.
The casual flirting on both sides,
Feeling perfectly natural and quite alright,
But looking back, sin hides.
Do you remember me sitting there
With your wife just beside us,
Your hand on my bare thigh
But no one made a fuss.
There were clearly signs we missed,
Or maybe chose to ignore.
And once we stepped over each line
We couldn’t return to the one before.
We’d dance together, laugh together,
Forget the rest of the world.
We’d wine together, dine together,
Our friendship fully unfurled.
The moment came, I remember well,
As we stood together that day,
Away from everybody else
Without a word to say.
We understood each other
(ourselves not so much),
We both knew on some level
This wouldn’t stop with a touch.
We faced out to the ocean,
You wrapped your arms around me.
This was nothing new, you know,
It was a natural way to be.
I wanted to melt into you,
Dreams and reality to be one,
Our love blinding us forever,
Burning brighter than the sun.
I felt you pressed against my back
And closed my eyes to the view.
I wanted to hold onto the moment
And be forever with you.
I knew what I wanted from you
But I was afraid of asking –
Maybe you didn’t feel it
Or were you too good at masking?
You dropped your head and kissed mine,
Light and delicately placed
And even now I’m taken back
To when you made my heart race.
I turned to face you then
And we shared a knowing look
My heart crying out for you
And my heart an open book.
But no matter what my heart wanted
My mind had to draw the line
And not allow us to step over
No matter how I may pine.
I sunk my face into your chest,
My cheek against your shirt;
I felt safe and warm and loved
Far beyond a simple flirt.
I’ve dreamt of what might have been,
Our lips have met in my sleep,
But in real life I pulled away
And this secret I would keep.
You tucked your hand under my chin
To look into my eyes,
I caught my breath in anticipation
And your mouth told no lies.
But what if I hadn’t?
What might have been?
Where might we be now?
How would we be seen?
Our worlds collided then,
There was no turning back –
Changing the course of history;
Walking down a different track
We’ve stayed friends through this
But it’s not the same as it was before
Never knowing that connection
And always wanting more.
The secret we kept weighed heavily,
Moments stolen when we could,
Not wanting to let you go
Even though it was for the greater good.
I could have asked you to choose
But I knew what you’d say.
I’d rather let you go
Than have you throw me away.
I’d always want more
Than you could ever give,
And you’d return home to her
Yet, somehow, I’d forgive.
It’s been more than a decade
And I still long for your touch.
Fleeting hugs drag me in,
But feelings cost too much.
But I could never forgive myself
For wanting what wasn’t mine.
I begged for you to stay with me,
Or for some kind of sign.
My heart breaks when I see you
And I know this never ends
But I can’t give you up
My torment is that we’re friends.
Together, we’d light fireworks
Alone, the dark crept in.
I could not keep our secret,
I wished for it not to begin.
Even in my dreams
You’re not the one for me
And I pray that you’ll release me,
Please, set me free.
