Spending My Days in Bed

11/03/2021 – Poem a Day Compilation



I used to dream

About being able

To spend my days

In bed not worrying

About the world

Or getting up for work

But now that I

Have no choice

But to be in this bed

I miss having the choice

And wish I hadn’t

Been so stupid

As to put my life in danger

For a cheap thrill

Not knowing the result

Would change my life

Forever in ways

I never expected

Like resenting the bed

I’d long to spend

More time snuggled in.

The Loss of Innocence

03/12/2020 – Poem a Day Compilation



Take me back to the before

When idyllic summers were misremembered

As more perfect than they had a right to be

And people were genuine.



Tell me that such a time existed

Not just in the recesses of my grown mind

But in a reality not so harsh and cruel

As experience deems fit to show me.



Let me pretend, just once more,

That the superficial, animalistic lustings

Of men old enough to know better

Are figments of my imagination.



Return to me the trust I had

In the honour of parents to keep secrets,

Now stripped unceremoniously from my eyes

Never to be seen again.



Allow me to spend one more day

Sitting at the foot of a man

Who inspired fear in all others

But fostered my innocence.



Save me from a reality that stains my heart

With loss, and grief, and a heartache that burns;

That wrenches a knowledge of all that trembles

From the dark niches of this world.



Take me back to the before

When fairy tales merged with the everyday

In such a way that reality itself was bent

And innocence was not lost in time.

Waking Up

28/04/2020 - Iso Well-Being Compilation



What is this fog that has lifted from my eyes?

I have woken, and seen reality.



All my fears that I have carried with me

Are stretched out before me.



None slain by the harsh light of day.

Every wound only in my side.



The echoes of a thousand pages unread

Filling my ears with silence.



A condemnation by my own vanity

That I should be loved.



What fate worse than death is now here?

It is my friend, obscurity.



Swallowed by the void of human insecurity

Played out as bravado.



Connections lie tenuously across space and time

Waiting to be ripped apart.



It may be the most innocuous of comments,

Taken out of context.



Perhaps a joke played out too many times,

Its novelty worn thin.



A genuine offer rejected without thought

For a better, fleeting one.



A call for help unheard or ignored outright

Because it’s too much trouble.



Trust has been forsaken in this world.

Never to be rebuilt.



There lies a chasm between the façade

And what lies within.



The idea that these words carry weight

Breaks the heart in two.



Bring back that all-encompassing haze

Where I can hide.



Let me secrete myself somewhere safe

Beyond the terrible truth.



What worth there may be residing in me

Is a shallow pool, indeed.



Never topped up, it drains ever more,
Leaving but an empty shell.