Discarded

02/04/2021 - Poem a Day Compilation



You threw me away

As if I meant nothing

The days, weeks, months

We had spent

Discarded as rubbish on the tip



I cannot see it

Any other way

That feeling of uselessness

Overwhelming me

And weighing down my soul



You did not want my love,

My heart overflowing,

Anything else I could offer

Rejected all at once

With no thought for me at all



But you should not keep me

Out of obligation

Or to save me

From the world inside my mind

At your expense

Poison

12/07/2020 -  Poem a Day Compilation



It was May, 2004

And I stood outside the Enmore

Taking in the lights of Newtown

Waiting for the doors to open.



You’d bought the tickets so long ago

When we were better together

So, tell me why I was there

Waiting for you to arrive.



You were always late.

It was one of my pet peeves.

And you knew it annoyed me

More than almost anything.



You loved that band and would say

“Every rose has its thorn”

Whenever I brought it up

But you were more thorn than rose.



This night out was the last gasp,

The last nail in the coffin perhaps,

Of a relationship that was already dead

But just hadn’t realised it yet.



Life loves a tragedy, I suppose,

And we were absolute proof of it,

Two big personalities on a collision course

Destined to burn up worlds in our wake.



That night was supposed to give us

Something to believe in –

A shared past to cling on to

And rekindle what we had.



But there was nothing left to salvage

From this car crash of a relationship,

And standing in that line I knew

That this would be a last hurrah.



You used to call me your fallen angel.

I was really a bird whose wings you’d clipped,

Wanting desperately to be uncaged,

Set free in the big wide world.



Looking back, I can see tight you clung

To the idea that I was this perfect girlfriend

Who made you look good by extension

But in reality we ripped each other apart.



Life goes on, even when our hearts break,

Because we know what we deserve,

Even when that realisation hurts,

And being second best is not it.



I’ve lived so much more since that night

Without you holding me back

Or telling me it wasn’t worth my time

And making me afraid to try,



Now I ride the wind wherever it takes me –

I’ve seen the world without you,

And met the most interesting people,

All because I found myself in losing you.



You lived in your little bubble

And it was suffocating me

You said if I loved you, I’d stay

And maybe you were right.



I won’t forget you,

You were my biggest mistake,

But one I needed to make to grow

And find out who I was inside.



On that cool autumn night

Way back, over a decade ago,

I found out you were my poison

And I walked through those doors alone.

Wrong

11/06/2020 – Iso Well-Being Compilation

 

I thought maybe I was in the wrong,

But I wasn’t.

Well, not for the reason I imagined.

 

You treated me like shit

All along

And I thought that was my fault.

 

I didn’t want to see the bad in you,

Blinded myself,

But you showed your true colours tonight.

 

Your fragile little ego couldn’t handle it

When I said,

“Fuck off with your false equivalence.”

 

Afterall, you’d just brought up the Nazi’s –

Godwin’s law –

In a conversation about slavery in a movie.

 

I suppose I did open the door for it, though,

When I said,

“History is mostly written by the victors”

 

And you came back with the inevitable line,

So predictable,

“Oh, so the Nazi’s weren’t so bad.”

 

Your underlying racism had been bothering me.

I knew.

The friendship was always going to run aground.

 

I should have listened to my gut from the start

But I didn’t,

I told myself that I imagined all that stuff.

 

The ten plus years that you pursued me,

Despite protestations,

Should have told me not to trust you.

 

I wanted to be with you so much but

Not like that,

Not while you were still married.

 

When you divorced you spun your story,

Narcissistic lies,

And I bought it hook, line and sinker.

 

But you couldn’t give me what I wanted

And never would,

And the romance that never was faded.

 

I should have ended it then and there,

But I didn’t,

Because I thought you needed my friendship.

 

You made me believe your sob story

(Shame one me)

Because it was my own sob story, too.

 

I wanted to save you and change you,

And myself,

But you don’t have anything worth saving.

 

I also didn’t want to be alone in life,

Forever,

And I’d have settled for less than mediocre.

 

But then I met someone who filled the void,

Who wasn’t you,

And the light started to dawn on me.

 

You weren’t nearly good enough for me

And I saw

In him everything that you were not.

 

I saw a caring, compassionate person,

Considerate,

And comfortable in their own skin.

 

Sure, they weren’t perfect by any means –

No one is –

But they didn’t need to be when by my side.

 

I wonder how long it will be until you fold,

Come crawling back

Full of false apologies and fake remorse.

 

I’m not sorry for anything I said to you,

Not one bit,

And I have finally woken up to myself.

 

All those times you pressed my buttons

Just to see

What kind of reaction you’d get out of me.

 

Did no one ever tell you not to poke a bear?

Not once?

Well, you poked this bear one too many times.

 

One day I will learn to forgive myself –

Not today –

But I will never forget the lesson you taught me.

My Light

I never thought I could say the words
But as you're walking out the door tonight,
Your hair slicked back the way it always is,
I realise that you're walking out with my light.

We started out in a heaven we called home,
I was your angel and you were mine.
Our eyes sparkled when we caught glimpses
And we couldn't get enough of each other.

When we fought it was like cats and dogs,
Now it's degenerated into uncomfortable silences.
There's a pain in my chest because of you
And it's the only reminder of what we had.

I never thought I could say the words
But as you're walking out the door tonight,
Your coat of your shoulder the way it always is,
I realise that you're walking out with my light.

But now, my angel, you have spread your wings;
You want to fly away to another Garden of Eden.
You think the grass is greener on the other side,
Now that you've left the grass here is withered.

You were like a spring feeding the rivers of my life
But, when you shut that door, the last drop will go.
You've left me high and dry and no tears will ever fall
Because I can't feel if you've taken my heart.

I never thought I could say the words
But as you're walking out the door tonight,
Your shirt untucked the way it always is,
I realise that you're walking out with my light.

And now, with your bag packed and ready to go,
I know if I wait too long it will be too late.
When we started we never thought it would end like this.
There's only one thing I can do right now.

I put my hand on your shoulder one last time.
Your faded eyes light up one last time
But I'm choking on the words you want
And some things just weren't meant to be.

I never thought I could say the words
But as you're walking out the door tonight,
You're waiting for me to say the words,
I realise that you're walking out with my light.