The Change in Me

12/01/2021 –  Poem a Day Compilation



I thought, as I grew older,

I would change much more than I have

But I am still the same person now

As I was when I was sixteen.



I am still the insecure little girl

Who doubted her abilities

Yet always tried her best

Regardless of the result.



I am still that hopeless romantic

Who craved love and affection

But never seemed to find it

Or even knew where to look.



I am still that anxiety-ridden teen

Scared to face the world

For fear of anything and everything

And nothing at all.



The change in me is insignificant –

Now I see my insecurities,

The hopelessness, the anxiety –

But what good does the seeing do?



No matter how hard I try

The doubt, the desire and the fear

Stay with me like a second skin,

A part of me I cannot remove.

Temptation

02/01/2021 - Poem a Day Compilation



That which I saw, I wanted –

To touch, to hold, to have –

Yet you were not mine to possess

And I had no choice but to resist.



The desire flowed through me completely,

Taking over my every sense,

And my only defence was you

Being of sound and moral character.



I craved your undivided attention

With every fibre of my being,

Regardless of the damage

It would undoubtedly do to me.



I fought the urge to tell you,

Knowing my rejection would surely follow;

My heart, at once broken

And hopeful at the very same time.



I could not stand it when we touched

Ever for the barest of moments,

The impulses it sent coursing through me

Made my brain tingle and spark.



My appetite for your embrace

Grew with every passing day

For when you wrapped your arms around me

There was no safer place I could be.





When we parted I wanted to scream

My longing to the night sky

But, instead, I breathed in sweet relief

That you held my heart at arms-length.



This attraction towards you that I felt

Pulled me nearer and nearer to you

Until I could bear it no longer

And I retreated into my shell.



The temptation to break the rules

Is just as strong now as it was then,

But I know this yearning is not reciprocated

And I would be the one to be broken.