The Blank Stare

27/12/2020 – Poem a Day Compilation



I know words are being said

I can see her lips moving

I can’t hear what it was, though

There’s just noise

I can’t make it out

The sound didn’t make sense at all

So, I’m just sitting here

Under the blanket

Trying to nod in the right places

But my head doesn’t want to move

The overhead lights are too bright

And I can’t concentrate

I think she’s asked me a question

He lips aren’t moving anymore

And there’s a slight tilt to her head

I don’t know what to say

I missed the question

And the stuff before that too

I think I missed a lot, actually

She’ll probably need to repeat everything

I should have listened

She seems nice

I probably should have listened

It seems like it was important

I was listening

Then I wasn’t

I’m not sure exactly when I stopped

There are a lot of machines in this room

She’s saying something, again

But the lights and beeps are distracting

I’m just looking at her

It’s rude, I should stop

But I can’t because she’s saying something

And it’s important

There’s a knot in my stomach

But I’m not hungry

It’s an angry knot

Not angry at the nice lady

Who is looking very concerned

And reaches down to touch my arm

        “Mr Dugas, do you need me to go over it again?”

I blink

Tears are rolling down my face

There’s a lump in my throat

I can’t get those neurons firing

The words are stuck somewhere

All I can do is look down

And let the tears drip onto my gown

I suck in a deep breath

I don’t want to make her do this again

I nod quickly

I should have listened the first time

        “I’m Dr Blackwell. I’m head of oncology.”

I don’t want to hear this

But I have to