Embarrassing: What parents want to say to their teenagers but can't

02/12/2020 - Poem a Day Compilation



Oh, my god, mum

You’re so embarrassing.

How are we even related?

Can you just … not?



        All I did was turn up.

        You’d think the world ended

        Because you happen to be seen

        In public, with your mother!



What are you wearing?

You look like a grandma.

Why can’t you wear something

A little more fashionable?



        Of course, you know, don’t you,

        That if I turned up in anything

        That was even remotely fashionable

        You’d think I was trying too hard.



Do you have to talk so loudly?

Everyone can hear you

And then they look!

I don’t want them thinking it’s me.



        I don’t know if you've noticed 

        But when you get with your girlfriends

        You could fly a jet overhead

        And no one would be able to hear it.



I don’t want a hug and a kiss,

I’m not a little kid anymore.

No one else’s parents do that

It’s just weird and awkward.



        You’re such a long time an adult

        And you’ll have to forgive me

        But I wish you weren’t in such a rush

        To grow up and enjoyed childhood.



Don’t talk to my friends.

They don’t care what music you’re into

Or whether you watched a movie

Or where you went last weekend.



        I have amazing taste in music

        You’d be very surprised

        By what your friends listen to,

        Especially Janie, she likes metal.



Why can’t you look like Johnny’s mum?

She looks amazing.

I bet she doesn’t eat ice cream and chocolate

All the time like you do.



        No, she probably doesn’t

        But I don’t drink like a fish

        Like she does, either,

        And I rather be overweight, to be fair.



You’re too old to be dating.

Jessica’s mum is on her own

And she doesn’t run around

Like she’s trying to be a teenager.



        Jessica’s mum has just gotten a divorce

        From an abusive husband

        Whereas I have been on my own

        Most of your very short life.



You never let me do anything fun,

Like that concert I went to

And you made me come straight home

When everyone else was going out after.



        Friday night in the middle of the city

        Is no place for a fourteen year old

        And I will always do what is needed

        To keep you as safe as I can.



Why don’t you listen to me?

You’re so embarrassing

I just want you to be normal

Like everyone else’s mum.



        If I told you half the things, my sweet,

        About the other mums you know

        You would be horrified

        But we’re all just doing the best we can.